I’m wondering  if he really values and appreciates me.

I do not want to poison the well because he is a really nice person. I guess people do have different personalities and sometimes it is very hard to compromise… because most of the time I expect a lot. I demand. Partly because I think and know that I deserve more… because all my life, people expected much of me. And maybe because of that, I’ve been trained to give more of what is expected of me. I am passionate… I love giving him surprises. My friends might think I am too extravagant but I guess little things coupled with big gestures can really be alled extravagant when packaged beautifully. At times, I do not want to expect anymore. Because expecting a lot leads to major disappointments. But what can I do? Sometimes I get really sad because I feel underappreciated. Alam ko na hindi ako dapat humingi ng kapalit… But all I’m asking for is fair treatment. I want him to show his love for me the way that I show my love for him. Siguro nasanay lang din… ako na spoiled sa mga bagay-bagay. I’ve been showered with so many blessings from God and from other people… Oh well. I’m not ranting but I just want to share how I feel. Buti na lang siguro at magkalayo kami… at pareho kaming busy–sya sa work, ako sa studies, organizations, Kule, etc. The thing is, should I just lower my expectations? Or should I expect nothing at all?

[To my family, superfriends, and friends: Sorry kung hind ako masyadong makwento. You know me… I need time before I open up. It took me 2 years before I opened up to my superfriends regarding problems at home… It’s hard for me to talk about things that I know would burden my friends… So okay na siguro less kwento, para less mental baggage for them. Hehe. Miss you all!]


16 thoughts on “Untitled

  1. ♥♥ ♥♥ March 18, 2009 at 8:58 am Reply

    *hugs* Hay. I love you anak. :/

  2. Janina Paula Sy March 18, 2009 at 9:46 am Reply

    Hey, Moe. 🙂 Love can make us do things we wouldn't normally do. IMHO, maybe not expecting anything at all would be a better option. Kasi, if he actually does something for you, then it's not exactly the way you expect it to be, you would just end up being disappointed. So siguro, just let him be and let him do his thing for you. Men can't be mind readers, and so having high expectations may only compromise the whole situation of what you guys already have and share. It's all about give and take, I guess. Alam kong mahirap siguro gawin, pero the right thing isn't always the easiest thing, right? 🙂 HUG, Moe. Have faith. 🙂

  3. KIKAY KATITAY March 18, 2009 at 9:51 am Reply

    we have the same dilemma, Moe! 😦 iba talaga ang mga boys. they show their affection in a different way & yes, we can't expect them to be as affectionate as us especially when you're not together. :((

  4. ★mariahxstar★ sanchez March 18, 2009 at 6:06 pm Reply

    ate moe! hugs!

  5. Joanna Chua March 18, 2009 at 8:00 pm Reply

    waaaaaaa ate moe! nabigla ako na nung nakakita ako ng tagalog sentence sa entry mo. hahahahasinong he yan? yiheeeeeeeee share share! 😀

  6. Jean Monique Sanchez March 18, 2009 at 11:04 pm Reply

    Thanks Mommy. 🙂 How are you na pala?

  7. Jean Monique Sanchez March 18, 2009 at 11:08 pm Reply

    Hi Nina! Thank you for the great advice. :)I'll try not to expect anything at all… and we'll see what will happen. 🙂 Anyway, I'm a bit okay now. Maybe I just needed space to vent my emotions and time to dissipate sadness.Men really are weird. Sometimes out of reason. Sometimes sweet… sometimes crazy. But I'm happy now because I've realized that WE ARE DOING WELL… if not for his parents. But that's a different story. :)I admit not expecting anything at all is quite hard to do… but I'll try. :)*hugs to you too!*

  8. Jean Monique Sanchez March 18, 2009 at 11:09 pm Reply

    I've realized na iba-iba talaga sila. I cannot expect him to do this and that for me… because he really is different.And your sweetie is different too. Hehe…*hugs*

  9. Jean Monique Sanchez March 18, 2009 at 11:10 pm Reply

    Mariah!!! 😀 Lolz!!! :D*hugs*

  10. Jean Monique Sanchez March 18, 2009 at 11:11 pm Reply

    Hehe. 😀 Sometimes, words are better expressed in the vernacular. 🙂 Mas malaki ang impact pag ganon. Diba?Share ko next time. 🙂 Step-by-step sharing. 🙂

  11. Joanna Chua March 18, 2009 at 11:17 pm Reply

    hahaha hinde. nakakatawa kasi pakinggan ang mga native english speakers na bigla-bigla na lang magtatagalog. parang kung ako (na isang ganap na mananalita ng wikang tagalog) ang magsalita sa wikang ingles.sige, share ah! hahahaha wooohooobaka naman 10 years older yan sa yo ate moe. hahaha

  12. Stephanie Diane Deray March 19, 2009 at 12:31 pm Reply

    wah, pero it feels pangit din if may something tapos you won't share with us. what's the use of being friends, right!?

  13. KIKAY KATITAY March 19, 2009 at 7:00 pm Reply

    iba nga talaga sya. 😦 read THIS and u might realize ur love life is a lot better than mine. ;(

  14. Jean Monique Sanchez March 19, 2009 at 10:21 pm Reply

    Haha. 😀 NagTatagalog naman talaga ako eh! 😀 Mas fluent lang ako sa English… :DHindi no… Just 1 year older. 🙂

  15. Jean Monique Sanchez March 19, 2009 at 10:26 pm Reply

    Hmm…. Wala lang… There are things na I share outright. But some I keep to myself muna. :)Ma-explain ko din sa inyo… Madrama kasi eh.Before, I used to share so many things and stories outright. Kwento here kwento there… even at home. But all I got in return were heartaches… instead of people being happy for me, some people pa nasa front-line para kontrahin ako. :(I know hindi nyo naman yun gagawin… Pero given my history, mahirap na talaga for me na mag open-up… 😦 Sometimes, I just want to be selfish… even for a short time. Just so I could keep the things that make me really happy safe and all to myself. :)Remember mo with my first boyfriend? 😦 Very sad… and traumatic for me. I was very happy then… lagi ako nagkwekwento about him. But my mom was at the front-line of the seemingly opposition. In the end, we broke up. It was terrible. :'(Anyway, given time, I will eventually share… :D*hugs*

  16. Jean Monique Sanchez March 19, 2009 at 10:27 pm Reply

    Kate… Huhu. 😦 *an infinite supply of hugs for you*

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